This week, I went back to work full time. I have dreaded this week. I loved staying home with Austin. I was not ready to go back to work however 12 weeks has gone by already. This week was the worst week of my life! I cried a lot! I would cry when I would leave the house. I would cry after Brian called me to let me know how dropping off Austin at daycare went. I would cry at work while pumping. I would cry myself to sleep every night. It was depressing. I was miserable. 
Brian really helped me out this week. Brian took Austin to daycare every morning even though Austin’s daycare is at my work. I just could not have done that. I was too upset. Brian made lunches every night. Also he helped with dinner. It was really nice. On Friday, Brian and Austin were off so they spent the day at home together cleaning the house. It was wonderful when I came home to a nicely clean house. Brian has made sure I got as much time with Austin as possible. He now gets up with Austin at night to help me try and get some sleep. 
I do not sleep well anymore. I stay awake at night thinking about work and how I miss Austin. So with little sleep and being so depressed made it an ugly week! Brian has been getting up more than me at night with Austin. I have mixed feelings on that. When I was off work, I did not mind getting up with him. I found it special bonding time with him. Now I want that time more than ever however I cannot function without some sleep.
Melissa was really nice. She sent me flowers at work on Monday. It really helped brighten my day. They were on my desk all week. When my eyes would tear up, I would look at the flowers and it would make me smile. I have been exhausted. Every night after dinner, Austin and I would take a nap together. We were both wore out from our crazy day. People saying that breastfeeding makes you more tired. I can see how that is true. When I was home with Austin, I was not nearly as busy as I am now. If I was tired, I could try and take a nap when Austin napped. Unfortunately I do not get a nap at work!
Austin has a little cold. I knew that he would get sick once he started daycare. He started Monday and showed signs of a runny nose Wednesday morning. Luckily I am breastfeeding him which gives him my antibodies to help fight viruses and infections. Brian has to suction out his nose a few times a day. Even though I am a nurse, I do not like to do it because he hates it so much. I know it’s for his own good but if Brian is home, I make him do it. We even got Austin a vaporizer to try and help him sleep at night with his stuffy nose. It seems to help a little bit. Yes that picture is me checking him with a stethoscope - Brian made fun of me already, but I am worried!
Austin seems to be doing okay with daycare. He was getting up twice a night for a little while instead of only once but that is getting a little better. However the first two days I picked him up, he was screaming his head off. That did not make this any easier for me. I felt horrible as it was and when he was screaming I felt even worse. He gets to do things at daycare that he would not do at home so all and all I guess it is good. 
Sunday was Easter. We took Austin’s Easter pictures at home. We went to Sears once and got professional pictures taken. They were horrible. Brian decided we could do it better at home ourselves. He brought some professional photo lights and backgrounds. We come up with our own ideas for pictures. It works out because when Austin is in a good mood we take his pictures. If he's not, then we just wait until later. No appointment necessary. I love all the Easter pictures we got of him. He is so cute! 
Being a parent, is the best thing ever. I am really enjoying our family together. Brian is a great dad. He is so good with Austin. Austin loves playing with his daddy. Brian holds Austin in a way so he can see everything. Plus he holds him like an airplane and Austin just loves it. I do not play with him like that but I hold and rock him. We bought a new rocking chair. It is great. It rocks, reclines, and swivels. Austin likes it. We will see what next week brings. Hopefully things will continue to fall into place.
Here are more of the Easter photos we took at home ourselves:
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