Last week of maternity leave (12 weeks)

This is my last week of maternity leave. It started off good with a trip to the zoo on Sunday when it was 80 degrees. We got a zoo pass so we can go whenever we want. The end of my maternity leave has been extremely sad for me. I never thought I would feel like I do. I have so many mixed emotions that I have to figure out. I have loved being home with Austin. Even though I have had so many challenges being a new mom I would not change a thing. It really has been a wonderful adventure. Being a mom is more than I ever expected. My life is now all about Austin.


I'm really glad Brian and I waited so long before having children because we did everything we wanted to and now we are enjoying parenthood. This week we went to our final Cavs game as season ticket holders. It was sad for us because we have enjoyed going to all of those games over the past 5 years. It was something we always did together even when our lives got a little crazy. Before the game I tweated Moondog and during the game Moondog came over and gave me an autographed basketball. I put it in Austins room because once he gets older he will love it. Brian and I look forward to going to more Cavs games as a family.

Usually I am not that emotional of a person but this week I think I have cried everyday. On Tuesday Austin and I went to our last breastfeeding support group. I have met so many wonderful moms and babies there. We all have a special bond because of all the difficulties we had breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is extremely difficult to do but once you get use to it things are much easier. I am grateful I am able to breastfeed. I am no longer physically breastfeeding however I pump 5-6 times a day. Austin only gets breast milk. It has been working out. I really think this group helped me not have postpartum depression. I enjoyed going there every week. On the way home from it I cried and cried. I was so sad.


Thursday night was rough because I knew Friday was my last day of my maternity leave. It is heartbreaking for me. Brian and I finally figured everything out and settled into a routine as parents. We are happy and now we have to go through even more changes and figure out a new routine. It’s going to be a challenge for all of us.

Friday we all went to the daycare to drop off forms and ask questions. It went surprising well. I brought a box of tissues and did not even need them (I now drive around with a box of tissues in my car). I am still really sad about going back to work but at least now I think I can do it. Before the daycare, visit I was not so sure. Brian is taking Austin to daycare on Monday because it will be too hard for me to drop him off. I was going to go too but decided it was best if I did not. This way Austin won't see me upset and start to feel uneasy himself.

I'm going to enjoy this weekend with my family. We are going to take it one day at a time. I really hope everything works out.