My Dad's Passing

Oh where do I begin.  I really don't want to write this post but needs to be done.

My dad was in the house for dehydration about a month ago. He got better and was home functioning fairly well.  My dad had lewy body dementia and Parkinson's.  He was slowly declining and he did not like it.  He didn't like how he felt and he did not like loosing his mind.

He started not to feel well again.  However this time he didn't want to go to the hospital.  He knew he was never going to get all the way better and just wanted to stay home and be comfortable.  That started to be a challenge for my mom.  How was she going to manage him at home?

We met with hospice and he did not qualify at first since he could still drink if he wanted to.  He really had no desire to eat or drink.  A few days later, Dad became even more of a challenge for mom.  He was very unsteady on his feet.  We knew he was going to fall.  He was getting weaker by still refusing to eat or drink.  I spent the night at their house.  I told Dad to be a good patient for me.  And he was.  He at least stayed in bed.  That morning my mom met with Hospice and he now qualified.

Dean came up for the weekend.  We could not thank him enough for doing that.  We needed him then and we did not even know it at the time.  He was able to help so much take care of Dad.  Dad slowly got worse and we all knew what was coming but that did not make it any easier.

I went down everyday to see him. It was difficult to watch.  He was peaceful but I did not want to remember him like that.  On Wednesday November 8th, I went to work.  I had a feeling it was going to be the day but didn't know for sure.  At 8am my mom called and told me she was sad and that he was gone.  I was devastated.  I knew it was coming but now it was final.  I left work and went straight to her house. Uncle Pat, Aunt Carol, and Jeanette were there.  I got there the same time as the hospice nurse.  I went to see him.  I did not like it.  I wanted my dad back. However I was glad he did not have to suffer.

My dad decided before he died that he would donate his brain for lewy body dementia research. I thought that was cool.  So the hospital came down and picked him up.  That was not easy to finally reach someone to come and get him but they did.  Then they would take him to the funeral home.  I made the appointment at the funeral home that day too.  We needed to get the arrangements made so people could make their travel plans.

Brian picked up the kids from school at normal time.  I didn't want to go and get them and tell them without Brian.  Austin was sent home with Mary Statue ironically that day too.  Once they got home, they wanted to open that and see it.  So we did that.  Then sitting in our old living room floor we told that kids that Papa had died.  Sydney cried for about 30 minutes uncontrollably.  Austin did not really show much emotion.  It was terrible.

Austin and Sydney had a lot of questions though the days after.  I was the one they usually got the questions.  Honestly I did not want to answer all the questions because I really did not know some of the answers.  I was trying to process all of this myself.  I was a daddy's girl.  My dad was everything to me.  I knew this day was going to come but just wanted to be in denial about it.  I wanted to be by myself and sleep.  But I also knew my family needed me to I must keep going.  I am a task oriented person so I just kept thinking of what I need to do.

The kids went to school and Thursday and Friday.  I just kind of chilled at home.  Going through so many emotions.  My summer was a disaster with the house.  That was so stressful and my house was finally done but my Dad never even got to see it.  How could he be gone already?  I wasn't ready for this but it was not up to me.  Dad had a plan and he was ready to go.

My mother in law got up here on Thursday to help with the kids which was greatly appreciated.  Donny, Dennis and Cheri arrived on Friday night.  Dean and Karen got here on Saturday.  Kids had some activities that we took them too.  We thought it was best to keep them busy.

Sunday was the calling hours.  I had breakfast at our house on Sunday morning.  Luckily my mother in law did it all.  It was great seeing everyone but not under these circumstances.  Then it was time to get ready to go.

Many people came to say good bye to my dad.  He was such a special person.  I don't think there was a person who didn't like my dad.  He was easy going not easily stressed out.  As he got older, he would stress more though.  I think part of it was the dementia.  Austin and Sydney didn't stay in the room much.  Someone brought us cookies so they were in the back selling cookies.  In some ways, I know it wasn't appropriate but I know my dad didn't mind.  It was the best way for them to deal with it.  They were extremely sad about this too.

Afterwards we went to dinner.  It was nice but also it was an extremely long day and we were all ready of it to be over.  In all honestly, we just wanted my dad back.  But we knew that wasn't happening.

Dean was in town for a few days afterwards which was nice.  We went to Amish County for lunch one day.  Dad would have liked that.  We all miss Dad!