Since I have made it 6 months exclusively feeding Austin breast milk, I have decided I am done. Wednesday was my last day of pumping. It is really sad for me. I really wanted to give Austin the best nutrition possible for the first 6 months. I reached that goal. However part of me felt like I should keep going longer. I did not have an issue with my milk supply so why should I stop? I had to stop for myself. I know that sounds extremely selfish. Unfortunately I could not keep pumping all the time. It was making me crazy. I want to have my body back. I am hoping my hormones will be going back to normal soon too.
My pump was like a best friend for the last 6 months. I would spend hours a day with it in the beginning. Every morning before work, I would have to pack all my supplies up and bring it with me. It was a real pain. While pumping most of the time I played on my phone. Melissa even got me hooked on the cell phone game Angry Birds for a while. I played angry birds while I was on maternity leave when I was pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock.
I hated pumping when Austin would start crying. It seemed like no matter how I timed it Austin would start crying as soon as the pump turned on. That was not really the case but it felt that way. I felt trapped to that machine so many times.
Since I still have a good milk supply it’s been hard now that I stopped pumping. My breasts are like bricks. It is extremely painful. It is even hard for me to hold Austin right now. I really don’t like this feeling either. I am hoping it goes away soon. I have tried cabbage leaves since I read on the internet that helps. It helped a little bit but I am still miserable.
Melissa and Jonathan came up on Tuesday for a concert. Jonathan did not want to attend the concert so I went with Melissa. It was a nice night out for me. Melissa and I had a good time. However we are getting old because we needed to wear earplugs. It was way too loud.
My mother in law has been in town for the past two weeks. It has been nice that she has been able to spend time with Austin. However the reason she is in town is Gramps is extremely ill. He was placed on hospice a few weeks ago. It is really sad because we all know he is dying. Today we went to visit and gramps did not even get out of bed while we were there. Gramps is so important in so many people lives. This is going to be extremely difficult.
Also today we went to Brian’s Dad’s grave for the first time since Austin has been born. That was also really sad. Tomorrow marks 6 years since he has died. It’s unfortunate that he never got to meet Austin. We know how much he would have loved Austin. We can hear him now telling all his friends about Austin. Right before we left the grave site, Brian had Austin on the ground next to it. Brian told Austin to give Grandpa a hug goodbye and Austin started patting the grave like he was giving him a hug. That broke my heart.
This week Austin will be traveling on an airplane for the first time. We are going to Milwaukee. Brian is presenting at a conference there. I am hoping we all have a good time.
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